After our daughter Evie died five years ago, we decided to have a “celebration” instead of a traditional funeral. Part of that celebration was to be a slideshow of moments from Evie’s life. So in mid-November 2018 I set myself to the bittersweet task of scrolling through iPhoto and dragging photos to a folder. I alternated between laughing and weeping. To the casual observer, I probably looked like a fucking lunatic.
Duane thank you for sharing. I love hearing your memories of your daughter. It breaks my heart every time, but they cause me to pause and look around at my own family every time. Thank you. Don
They say never meet your heroes, but you are genuinely one person I hope to eventually meet one day. Love your fiction, and love your family stories. Cheers
I love this post so much, Duane. My great-grandmother Johanna Youse also died in the Philadelphia area during the Spanish flu era--1918--but her death certificate lists typhoid as the cause. She was in her early twenties and left behind four children five and under. The oldest was my grandmother, who ended up living to age 92.
I didn’t give Johanna much thought until my father sent me a photo of her grave. Somewhere along the way, I got a photo of her, and it’s one of my most precious possessions. It launched my full-fledged research of my entire family history, after which I decided it was time for me to begin writing fiction.
I have often wondered how my family history would have been different had Johanna lived to raise her children. Losing a mother at such a young age was no doubt very traumatic for my grandmother and her siblings and generational trauma is a real thing. It leaves its imprint on future generations.
Which is a less than happy way of saying your great aunt and her mother are still alive in you. They were alive in Evie. I don’t mean this in an unhappy way, though. I simply mean that we, the living, hold those who have passed within ourselves, sometimes without even realizing it. And there is joy in that, along with sorrow.
Thank you for sharing part of your family story. It resonated with me.
Hey Duane, thanks for sharing. I was heartbroken when I heard about your daughter, met her a few times at some signings I went to see you and at a monster mania in jersey. A very outgoing soul👍🏻
And to think, we weren’t that much older than 15 when we met.
Sending continued hugs and prayers to you and your family.
Hoping your Evie and our Mollie (who was 6 when she passed just months before Evie did) have found each other and are continuing their sparkle-eyed mischief.
Duane thank you for sharing. I love hearing your memories of your daughter. It breaks my heart every time, but they cause me to pause and look around at my own family every time. Thank you. Don
They say never meet your heroes, but you are genuinely one person I hope to eventually meet one day. Love your fiction, and love your family stories. Cheers
I love this post so much, Duane. My great-grandmother Johanna Youse also died in the Philadelphia area during the Spanish flu era--1918--but her death certificate lists typhoid as the cause. She was in her early twenties and left behind four children five and under. The oldest was my grandmother, who ended up living to age 92.
I didn’t give Johanna much thought until my father sent me a photo of her grave. Somewhere along the way, I got a photo of her, and it’s one of my most precious possessions. It launched my full-fledged research of my entire family history, after which I decided it was time for me to begin writing fiction.
I have often wondered how my family history would have been different had Johanna lived to raise her children. Losing a mother at such a young age was no doubt very traumatic for my grandmother and her siblings and generational trauma is a real thing. It leaves its imprint on future generations.
Which is a less than happy way of saying your great aunt and her mother are still alive in you. They were alive in Evie. I don’t mean this in an unhappy way, though. I simply mean that we, the living, hold those who have passed within ourselves, sometimes without even realizing it. And there is joy in that, along with sorrow.
Thank you for sharing part of your family story. It resonated with me.
Hey Duane, thanks for sharing. I was heartbroken when I heard about your daughter, met her a few times at some signings I went to see you and at a monster mania in jersey. A very outgoing soul👍🏻
And to think, we weren’t that much older than 15 when we met.
Sending continued hugs and prayers to you and your family.
Hoping your Evie and our Mollie (who was 6 when she passed just months before Evie did) have found each other and are continuing their sparkle-eyed mischief.
<3
Wow Duane, an astonishing piece of history.