A Q&A With Myself

Hey, pal, I'm the one asking the questions here

Q: Okay, so where the hell have you been? It’s been nearly three months since your last newsletter.

A: A proper answer would involve a series of newsletters, because it’s been a crazy busy time, between deadlines and travel and other life insanity.

Q: Travel, huh? Let’s start there. Where have you been?

A: France! My very first time in the Homeland of Noir. I was a guest at the 21st annual Quais du Polar, a gathering of crime fiction writers and readers in beautiful (and historic) Lyon. I really am going to write a proper essay about this trip at some point, but for now I’m happy to report that I have many more French readers than I ever realized (thanks to the hard work and support of Rivages, my French publisher since the beginning). I also signed next to one of my literary heroes, James Ellroy, and at one point we kept hyping each other’s books to the crowd. “Buy two copies!” I shouted, pointing at a French hardcover of The Enchanters. Not to be outdone, Mr. Ellroy shouted “Buy FIVE copies!” as he pointed at the French edition of California Bear. (Pro tip: never get into a hype war with James Ellroy.)

Q: French literary festival, huh? Do you even speak French?

A: Nope.

Q: How did that work out for you?

A: At first, I felt like I’d had a massive stroke. I knew that people all around were speaking some kind of coherent language, but fuck if I could understand any of it. After a while, though, I felt like I was absorbing meaning through osmosis. At one point, one of the Rivages staff turned to me and said (in English), “You seem like you’re actually understanding this conversation.” And shockingly, I think I was!

Q: Interesting.

A: Oui.

Q: Where else did you travel?

A: A friend took me to a vampire museum in Doylestown, Pennsylvania, just outside of Philly.

Q: There is no such thing.

A: Oh yes there is. Vampa might be the craziest museum/art installation I’ve ever seen. You might be thinking, Oh, vampire museum, probably a lot of kitschy pop culture stuff, boxes of Count Chocula cereal, and so on. Oh no, my friend. You won’t find a set of plastic vampire teeth anywhere near this joint. This big house is stuffed with historic vampire-fighting weapons… or pieces of art made to look like historic vampire-fighting weapons. (After just a few minutes in this place, the line between reality and fantasy begins to blur a little.) Again, I really need to write a proper essay about this place… or maybe write a short story based on it. If you’re anywhere near Doylestown, I urge you to check it out, with garlic bulbs strung around your neck.

Q: Is this your way of saying you’re writing a vampire novel?

A: Not exactly, but there is a vampire-related project in the works (that I can’t talk about quite yet).

Q: Hmmm.

A: Next question.

Q: Okay, what else has been going on?

A: I saw Al Pacino at the Aero Theater for a Q&A after a screening of Carlito’s Way! That was a lot of fun. And you haven’t seen joy until you’ve seen Mr. Pacino answer his Shrek cell phone (it’s real, folks) and realize that it was his son calling, just to check in… not realizing Pops was appearing in front of hundreds of fans.

Q: Any other fancy names you want to drop?

A: No, but I did spent an afternoon playing pinball at Revenge Of with my hard-working manager, Peter “Sweet Pete” Katz, in honor of his 19th birthday. (Okay, maybe he’s a little older than that.)

Q: Sounds like a lot of fun and games. Must be nice.

A: The past three months have also been a lot of deadlines, but they’re a.) boring to talk about and b.) not exactly something I can talk about, because it’s all just frantic scribbling until projects are formally announced.

Q: What can you announce, if anything?

A: I have a new novel with James Patterson out this September called Billion-Dollar Ransom. And it’s being adapted into a feature by Stephen Gaghan (Traffic) for Amazon MGM!

Q: Again with the name-dropping.

A: Hey, you asked.

Q: So I did. Anything else before we wrap this up?

A: Why, yes! I’m very proud to share that California Bear, my most recent novel, is up for both the Anthony Award (for Best Hardcover) and the Macavity Award (for Best Mystery). Bear was also up for the Lefty at Left Coast Crime, but failed to win. I’m thinking that with a lot of hard work, I have a shot at going 0-for-3.

Q: Ah, there’s the self-deprecating crime novelist I know and love.

A: As Buckaroo Banzai once said, “No matter where you go, there you are.”