Seven the Hard Way
I’ve co-written three Audible Originals with James Patterson, and the latest, 7 Hours to Die, starring Sarah Paulson, dropped on September 12.
The quick-and-dirty summary:
Jenna Wade has it all. A loving, devoted husband. Two precocious children. A wildly successful mother. A beautiful house in one of the most desirable beach towns on the planet.
And seven hours to live.
Kidnappers grabbed her in broad daylight, right in front of her children and their horrified classmates. Her family was issued an insane ransom demand: $25 million in cash and jewels, payable by the end of the school day, otherwise they’ll never see her again. As Jenna’s mother scrambles to gather the money, detectives Mo Butler and George Ortega follow the trail of the kidnappers, which will lead them through a sordid landscape of jealous lovers, broken dreamers and twisted schemers. But every second counts, and there’s one thing Jenna Wade doesn’t have: very much time.
I love writing audio dramas. Part of it is my own perversity: I’ve long embraced the idea of “creative handcuffs”—deciding to not use a particular element in a novel, script or story. I’ve written a thriller without guns, a serial killer novel without a body count, and a crime novel without curse words (which is super fucking hard, by the way).
Writing an audio drama is the extreme sport version of this. You must bring a full story to life using only two elements: dialogue and sound effects. (Maybe a little music, if it makes sense in the story.) That’s it. No lengthy interior monologues, no wordless action set pieces, no rapid-fire crosscutting. There are very few tricks you can use.
But that’s the thing about creative handcuffs: they force you to come up with new tricks.
One trick is establishing a meta-narrative around your main story. Things like a news report, or a police interview in an interrogation room, or a sardonic narrator hosting a true-crime podcast. Patterson bakes these into his outlines, which helps us avoid painting ourselves into a corner. And here is where you would put some of the story you’d normally shove into an interior monologue or other exposition.
I also try to think of each scene, no matter how minor, as a ping-pong game: every character needs someone (or thing) to play against. You need to have your characters clashing, and there has to be a clear winner, a clear loser, or (my favorite) a messy draw… all of which propels you to the next scene. These are your action set pieces.
Time restraints are also your friend. As the title implies, 7 Hours to Die is a ticking clock story. The best thing you an do in a ticking clock story? Fuck with the clock when the listener least expects it. There’s your crosscutting.
I hope you’ll give 7 Hours a listen and let me know what you think.
Did I mention that, in addition to Sarah Paulson, the cast also includes Patina Miller, Dan “The Man” Stevens, and Mel Rodriguez? See, that’s the other thrilling part of writing an audio drama: hearing amazing actors perform your words. The writers set up the ping pong table, but the actors are the ones who actually play the game.
Still Secret, Still Dead… and Now in Pulp Form!
As I mentioned last time, my debut novel, Secret Dead Men, is being reprinted in a fancy new edition by Titan Books. The ebook crawled its way into the world this past Tuesday; the print version will appear this Tuesday, October 1.
The Optionist, a fellow Substack written by Andy Davis, featured Secret Dead Men in a recent edition and had this very kind thing to say:
“I love the inventive, gonzo premise of this book. Del Farmer is a classic hardboiled private eye, albeit one with a bizarre and original twist … If you’re getting hints of Inside Out, The Sixth Sense, Quantum Leap and the Faceless Men from GoT, you’re on the right track. Swierczynski remixes those inspiration in a giddy, clever way.”
You can pre-order a copy right here, or swing by your favorite bookstore and ask for a copy. Tell ‘em Dana Skully sent you!
If I Were a Carpenter
Want the chance to meet Cat Staggs, Amanda Deibert, David J. Schow, Ryan Winn, Sean Sobczak, me, and... oh yeah… Sandy King Carpenter and John Carpenter, a.k.a. The Horror Master? Head over to Golden Apple Comics at 11 a.m. on October 12. You’ll thank me later!
I’m proud to have had a short comic story (or original piece of prose) in every installment of John Carpenter’s Tales for a HalloweeNight… and now we’re up to volume 10! My story this time is an adaptation of one of my short horror stories, and I felt compelled to give it a new title: “The Cold Pierogi.”
And for those of you not in the greater L.A. area, you can order signed copies straight from Storm King.
That’s it for now. Later this week I’ll be heading off on a little adventure in the desert to see a man about a Drive-In. In the meantime, be kind to each other. We’re all trapped in this cosmic ping pong game; we might as well enjoy it.
Congratulations! It has a great cast. I wish it was a movie.
It’s reasons like this why I have an Audible subscription.